Sweet Tea and a Cloudy Sky

These are just my thoughts, and they are in brainstorm format more than anything else.
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this.
http://www.ladygaga.com/alejandro/video/

Okay. Writing all my ideas after only one view first. I watched it exactly at noon, and have thought about it since then, so these are my ideas after almost two hours of thought and only one view. (and much twitter conversation, mostly with @beyonddeities)

• Doesn’t seem cohesive with the song.
• Repo! The Genetic Opera. The heart? What?
• It was released on Glee day. Gaga said she loved the Glee ep featuring her songs. So.
• Gaga is a boy okay.
• I just don’t think it meshes up with the song. I have specific mental associations with that song and it just doesn’t fit. I understand that songs mean different things to different people. This doesn’t fit my idea of what this song means.
• The things that @beyonddeities said in her sleep-deprived state.
  • “I find the simple colours powerful, because what she is doing is going to anger people. Its beautiful.”
  • “And the choreography just..captures the androgyny, the ~freeness of sexuality in the barren landscape, the wars of us.”
  • “Maybe she’s going against what we’re used to.. She’s creating a solemn element, a slower pace that works with the song? I mean making us uncomfortable is part of the whole idea… I think.”

  This. This. I. I get it? I mean. Idk, I just, the fact that there could have been seven million things going on in her mind while she made this video. The fact that we are likely to never know what she was thinking, and what her true meanings are.

• This tweet from @ChrisCrocker. “Alejandro is @LadyGaga’s best video thus far. She is preparing us for less fashion oriented videos. She’s making you bitches focus on art.” Yes, but what kind of art? Going back to my last point, we don’t know. We really have no idea, which I guess is the point of art. Getting us to think of our own meanings. But I already had my own meaning for the song, and now my meaning for the song is having a hard time agreeing with my meaning for the video.

Look, I don’t even know. I need to watch it a few more times, these are just my initial thoughts.

The framework essay outlines the basic ideas to keep in mind while doing observations and reading the rest of the texts. Out of this, I was able to gather a large amount of information, and apply some basic concepts to my observations. First of all, I view most of what I have seen from a constructionist perspective. All the evidence I have points to this viewpoint as the “true” or “right” way to view the world, including class readings, content from previous courses, and real life experience. I chose to conduct my observations primarily in the Pride Office, a location which is technically part of the LGBTQ Resources office. This space is an area where people gather to hang out, socialize, and meet people, as well as a space to casually discuss identities. The space is not simply a social avenue for students, however – people also come here to conduct business with Ric Chollar, the Associate Director of LGBTQ Resources, or to work on homework or projects. I have in my observations seen people in this space “construct” their identities, and this may change daily, weekly, or over a longer time period. Because of the nature of this space as a “comfortable and “safe” location to discuss the “typically taboo” topics of sexuality, it is also a space where people feel comfortable to discuss other things which may not be seen as “okay” to discuss in a general everyday situation, such as other master statuses.
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Hetero-sex-ual, homo-sex-ual, bi-sex-ual. These things are all tied into sex. None of them describe the way I feel. I’m a person. “Sex” is not what I use to define myself.
I am a person, I am romantic, I am attracted to my significant other, my significant other has a penis. These things do not define me.
I have thoughts and dreams and hopes, I have accomplishments and I make mistakes. I like to watch movies and play on the computer. I have hair that I dye different colors depending on my mood.
Don’t all these things say more about me than my so-called “sexuality”?

I’m not sure I know myself very well at all. In the movie Juno, Mac MacGuff says, “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when,” to which Juno responds, “I don’t know what kind of girl I am.” This statement speaks to me, and I feel much the same sentiment. Often people make statements about me, or are surprised when I say certain things or act certain ways. I am often confused, frustrated, and occasionally hurt by these statements, because I don’t usually think of myself the same way other people are making me seem. This feeling is described and explained very well in this video by Ze Frank, specifically starting around 2:30:

“Lots of things can stand in your way, especially the people who are closest to you. Your family, your closest friends, think they know you and sometimes can have a very rigid definition of your theme: “You were never athletic.” “You always start things and never finish them.” “You’re not a naughty boy.” “You’re artsy.” “Your theme isn’t just made up by you.” Robert Putnam, in a book called ‘Bowling Alone’ says this inner circle is very good at supporting you in times of crisis. When you’re emotionally severed, they can remind you who you are. But if you wanna change who you are, you might need other people. People who know you but don’t know you so well. Putnam says that that’s what knitting circles and bowling leagues and clubs supplied in the middle of last century. People who would surprise you by saying, “Wow, you’re athletic.” “You do have a way with words.” “You seem like a naughty boy.” These are the people who seem like they can lead you to a new, interesting job. These are the people who provide you with new themes and new perspectives, away from the burden of history of your inner circle.”

I realize that I so often ignore as much of the world as I can and just let things happen to me. I choose ignorance over knowledge because I am afraid of things such as failure or rejection. This fear drives me to hide within my own inner circle, to keep to myself and stay around what I know to be ‘safe’. This is what causes me to stay within the same activities, as well as avoid taking risks of any sort. I’m afraid to start anything because I’m afraid of doing it poorly. I stay stuck within my own theme, never venture outside my inner circle, and never explore new things. I’m forcing the same old theme upon myself.