Posts Tagged “emotive”

I get really angry when I’m trying to help someone and all they do is give me back reasons why it won’t work. Especially when the issue is completely psychological.

Now, before any of you get on me, I’m aware that what I’m saying may be pretty hypocritical. I want to change these things in myself, too.

If you are depressed because you’re stuck in a crappy town, I’m going to try and help you think about the future when you can get out of it. I’m a futurist. That’s what I do. So when you turn back to me and say things like “well just because you got out doesn’t mean it will work for me.” Shut up with your negativity. When I’m trying to help you it feels really shitty when you just shut down my help.

When you’re feeling low self esteem and I tell you you’re not unattractive, please don’t respond with how you feel unattractive and that’s what matters. Say thanks and internalize the praise I’m sending you — it’s meant to make you feel better. If people tell you that you’re cute and you don’t listen to them, you’re never going to feel cute. You’re always going to feel shitty and ugly. You could be the most beautiful person in the world but if you don’t believe people when they tell you that, you’re shit out of luck.

And please please PLEASE don’t complain to me about feeling fat. Chances are it’s the way your body is supposed to be, it’s perfectly healthy, and you’re just trying to fit into some shitty societal norm that doesn’t even make sense. When you tell me that you’re jealous of my tiny body it just makes me feel shitty. I didn’t choose to be this way, I have a really small bone structure and a fast metabolism. As soon as I turn 20 or 25 my metabolism will slow down and I’ll have the same issues that you do. So please PLEASE learn to accept your body. It was made for you and it’s yours to love.

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I made this dress out of the leftover fabric from my mom’s wedding’s bridesmaid dresses. I had a bridesmaid dress too but I don’t know what I did with it, I think I might have grown out if it. I like this one better anyways, the bridesmaid dress was form-fitting except for a slit and i like flowy/poufy things better anyways.

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Sometimes I tell myself about all the things I need to do. I look anywhere other than my computer screen and see all the things piled around me waiting to be done. My room needs work, I need to sew, I need to do this or that. Then I turn back to my computer and read blogs like hipsterrunoff dot com and wonder what I’m doing with my life. I go on twitter and complain about how lonely I feel, and I get frustrated thinking about how I really just wish my boyfriend would call me. 

Today he called me around 9:30. He hasn’t called me in a couple days, he’s been busy or something. I guess I mean, people get busy, whatevs. I’ve called him a couple times but he’s always like, yo I’ll call you back. Today when I talked to him he fell asleep on the phone. He does this sometimes and it pisses me off. Then I stay up later and later, telling myself I’ll get something productive done but really just wasting time on facebook and tumblr and twitter and hro. I stay up waiting for him to wake up and call me back, but he never does. Sometimes the next day I find out he woke up but didn’t call back because he didn’t want to wake me up, but I wasn’t asleep in the first place.
I live in the middle of nowhere right now. I’m an hour and a half away from the nearest non-relative person I know. So it’s not like I can distract myself by going out with my friends like I used to do. I also can’t get myself to go to sleep for some reason. So I dress up and go in my bathroom and take pictures. That’s not what happened with this one though, this one I took friday night at TJ’s house. you can see it on lookbook too.

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So I made this jumper. It’s black and it has buttons made from real shells. My friend Meg says it’s cute, but I’ve never worn it. My friend TJ says it’s not. He just has something against jumpers, or overalls, or cute things, I guess. I’m sitting in his office right now. There are also things like crayons and legos in here, so I guess it’s a playroom too. There used to be pokemon toys but I stole them all and now they’re in my room. He’s fighting on the couch with Justine. She called him a little sorority bitch. See on lookbook.

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I don’t really know why I’m awake. I took some pictures in some cool outfits earlier. I’m supposed to be cleaning up my room. or sleeping. I think I’ll go to bed after I post this. It’s an outfit I made a while ago. I guess about a year ago. It’s two pieces, a top and a skirt, but it looks like a dress kind of. I guess it’s a summer look and I should probably wear it out sometime. See it on lookbook.

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