Posts Tagged “contemplation”

I have a relationship with my privilege. I know it is there, and I am sometimes ashamed of it. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty. However, sometimes I am also thankful for it. What I don’t know is if this is okay.

Comments 1 Comment »

These are just my thoughts, and they are in brainstorm format more than anything else.
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this.

Okay. Writing all my ideas after only one view first. I watched it exactly at noon, and have thought about it since then, so these are my ideas after almost two hours of thought and only one view. (and much twitter conversation, mostly with @beyonddeities)

  • Doesn’t seem cohesive with the song.
  • Repo! The Genetic Opera. The heart? What?
  • It was released on Glee day. Gaga said she loved the Glee ep featuring her songs. So.
  • Gaga is a boy okay.
  • I just don’t think it meshes up with the song. I have specific mental associations with that song and it just doesn’t fit. I understand that songs mean different things to different people. This doesn’t fit my idea of what this song means.
  • The things that @beyonddeities said in her sleep-deprived state.
    • “I find the simple colours powerful, because what she is doing is going to anger people. Its beautiful.”
    • “And the choreography just..captures the androgyny, the ~freeness of sexuality in the barren landscape, the wars of us.”
    • “Maybe she’s going against what we’re used to.. She’s creating a solemn element, a slower pace that works with the song? I mean making us uncomfortable is part of the whole idea… I think.”

    This. This. I. I get it? I mean. Idk, I just, the fact that there could have been seven million things going on in her mind while she made this video. The fact that we are likely to never know what she was thinking, and what her true meanings are.

  • This tweet from @ChrisCrocker. “Alejandro is @LadyGaga’s best video thus far. She is preparing us for less fashion oriented videos. She’s making you bitches focus on art.” Yes, but what kind of art? Going back to my last point, we don’t know. We really have no idea, which I guess is the point of art. Getting us to think of our own meanings. But I already had my own meaning for the song, and now my meaning for the song is having a hard time agreeing with my meaning for the video.

Look, I don’t even know. I need to watch it a few more times, these are just my initial thoughts.

Comments 1 Comment »

Hetero-sex-ual, homo-sex-ual, bi-sex-ual. These things are all tied into sex. None of them describe the way I feel. I’m a person. “Sex” is not what I use to define myself.
I am a person, I am romantic, I am attracted to my significant other, my significant other has a penis. These things do not define me.
I have thoughts and dreams and hopes, I have accomplishments and I make mistakes. I like to watch movies and play on the computer. I have hair that I dye different colors depending on my mood.
Don’t all these things say more about me than my so-called “sexuality”?

Comments 2 Comments »

I just remembered something. See, sometimes I pick up my three-year-old sister from daycare. One day, I picked her up and when we were going to the car she was telling me about one of her little friends. His name was Andrew. She said, “Andrew doesn’t wear panties because he’s a boy. Boys don’t wear panties. Boys wear underwear.” Now, since I’m not her mother and I’m not raising her, I just let it go. Besides, she’s three. They’re just trying to teach her the basics of life.

Can you imagine if it was my kid, though? You know I would immediately walk back into that daycare center and bitch them out. Something along the lines of “why the hell are you teaching my child that boys don’t wear panties? Boys can wear whatever they want. Why are you differentiating between boys and girls anyways?”

The world is probably glad I’m not a parent.

Comments No Comments »

I get really angry when I’m trying to help someone and all they do is give me back reasons why it won’t work. Especially when the issue is completely psychological.

Now, before any of you get on me, I’m aware that what I’m saying may be pretty hypocritical. I want to change these things in myself, too.

If you are depressed because you’re stuck in a crappy town, I’m going to try and help you think about the future when you can get out of it. I’m a futurist. That’s what I do. So when you turn back to me and say things like “well just because you got out doesn’t mean it will work for me.” Shut up with your negativity. When I’m trying to help you it feels really shitty when you just shut down my help.

When you’re feeling low self esteem and I tell you you’re not unattractive, please don’t respond with how you feel unattractive and that’s what matters. Say thanks and internalize the praise I’m sending you — it’s meant to make you feel better. If people tell you that you’re cute and you don’t listen to them, you’re never going to feel cute. You’re always going to feel shitty and ugly. You could be the most beautiful person in the world but if you don’t believe people when they tell you that, you’re shit out of luck.

And please please PLEASE don’t complain to me about feeling fat. Chances are it’s the way your body is supposed to be, it’s perfectly healthy, and you’re just trying to fit into some shitty societal norm that doesn’t even make sense. When you tell me that you’re jealous of my tiny body it just makes me feel shitty. I didn’t choose to be this way, I have a really small bone structure and a fast metabolism. As soon as I turn 20 or 25 my metabolism will slow down and I’ll have the same issues that you do. So please PLEASE learn to accept your body. It was made for you and it’s yours to love.

Comments No Comments »